My “spiritual” journey Part 3, The Finale!Filed Under: Atheism, Life, Religion

If you missed the previous parts - Click here for Part 1 and Click here for Part 2

I often attempt and try to pinpoint the exact moment in which I left the religion of my parents, Islam. What I have realized is that, it was not just a single moment of “revelation” that no god exists, but rather a series of events which led to my ultimate decision to make leave faith. Honestly, I don’t think it is advisable to dramatically change your beliefs based on simply one event, especially on a question of life itself. A rational approach would largely consist of at the very least a couple weeks of contemplation and research.

To trace back my history with religion, and religious experience, it dates to around October of 2006. That was the month where I finally made the decision (I was 16 years old at the time) to devoutly follow Islam. I prayed five times a day, fasted during the “holy” month of Ramadan and followed just about every possible rule there is to Islam, (everything short of simply leaving society itself).  I truly felt that, belief without evidence was virtuous, and belief when there is no evidence would be even more so virtuous. I even thought up what is known as “Pascals Wager” completely on my own, without consciously ever remembering it spoken previously. I defended my faith to anyone who tried a debate, and even started to grow out a beard. I felt a sort of complete dislike toward every other religion, and especially the non-religious, not to the point of violence, since I have never been a violent person, but simply a feeling of disgust to any non-Muslim. I must remind my readers, that this was not due to any sort of religious indoctrination from my parents. My father is a rather liberal Muslim and mother is religious, but truly did not impose it on any of her children. Previously to October 2006, I grew up a “cultural” Muslim more so than a religious one, and this is why it is important to note. I was completely sure of my faith, and simply did not listen to any argument against it, usually dismissing it as “ignorant.”

Fast forward a few months of sheer ignorance (or in other words, faith) on my part. I came across this one quotation that stuck with me to this day, and I will often quote it, or at least paraphrase it to any religious person. If everyone truly followed this model of rational inquiry, given what we know about life and the cosmos due to science, I don’t think anyone could truly be religious, and if they were, it would have to be some sort of Deist similar to Einstein.

“The pursuit of truth can only begin once you start to question and analyze every belief that you ever held dear. If a certain belief passes the tests of evidence, deduction, and logic, it should be kept and defended. ….If it doesn’t, the belief should not only be discarded, but you must also then question why you were led to believe the erroneous information in the first place.” - Socrates

As I said previously, this quote stuck with me, it forced me to reconsider my faith. It would seem like a simple enough method, but ask yourself every time you profess some belief, why do you believe what you believe, how do you know its true…those two questions are essential and will at the very least lead to one abandoning all the absurd ideas (religion and god included).

Now, once I reached this point, I became a sort of “agnostic” or fence sitter, I knew at this point, it is absurd to believe in a personal god, but what about a divine watchmaker? Coming from this background of religion, it seemed impossible that either, the universe was not designed, and secondly that life was not designed, though I knew of the theory of evolution and believed in it, I did not know that it easily answers the complexity and beauty of life and the universe. Day by day, I became opposed to Islam and modern religions in general (this was largely due to reading first the history of these religions, and then the present of them.) It is important to note that I still was not an atheist at this point, I believed in a sort of Deistic god as described by Spinoza. So you may ask, how and when did I become a full-fledged and proud atheist?

Dawkins in Lynchburg VA - Book Reading of The God Delusion

After watching that lecture, I immediately bought The God Delusion online and read the entire book within 2 nights of reading the first words. It accomplished fully and completely one of the goals Dawkins set out to do, push the fence sitters over to one side. His masterful defense of evolution, and his argument that effectively demonstrated that atheism is the only intellectual satisfying position that can be held. I thank Mr. Dawkins, for both his science work, and his work on god, his work has given me freedom from religion and god, and for that, there are no words that can describe my feeling of admiration and thanks.

Due to Dawkins, and his references to other writers, I have read the works of Bertrand Russell, Christopher Hitchens, Sam Harris, Daniel Dennet, Stephen Hawkings and quite a few others. Every single one of those authors is someone I deeply admire for their works either on science or religion, or both. They have made me into a rational, reasonable, and more importantly, an overall happy individual. To articulate what disbelief in god does for me, I turn to a lesser known writer and poet, Robert Ingersoll.

Excerpt from, “Why I Am Agnostic” by Robert Ingersoll

When I became convinced that the Universe is natural –that all the ghosts and gods are myths, there entered into my brain, into my soul, into every drop of my blood, the sense, the feeling, the joy of freedom. The walls of my prison crumbled and fell, the dungeon was flooded with light and all the bolts, and bars, and manacles became dust. I was no longer a servant, a serf or a slave. There was for me no master in all the wide world — not even in infinite space. I was free — free to think, to express my thoughts — free to live to my own ideal — free to live for myself and those I loved — free to use all my faculties, all my senses — free to spread imagination’s wings — free to investigate, to guess and dream and hope — free to judge and determine for myself — free to reject all ignorant and cruel creeds, all the “inspired” books that savages have produced, and all the barbarous legends of the past — free from popes and priests — free from all the “called” and “set apart” — free from sanctified mistakes and holy lies — free from the fear of eternal pain — free from the winged monsters of the night — free from devils, ghosts and gods. For the first time I was free. There were no prohibited places in all the realms of thought — no air, no space, where fancy could not spread her painted wings — no chains for my limbs — no lashes for my back — no fires for my flesh — no master’s frown or threat — no following another’s steps — no need to bow, or cringe, or crawl, or utter lying words. I was free. I stood erect and fearlessly, joyously, faced all worlds.

And then my heart was filled with gratitude, with thankfulness, and went out in love to all the heroes, the thinkers who gave their lives for the liberty of hand and brain — for the freedom of labor and thought — to those who fell on the fierce fields of war, to those who died in dungeons bound with chains — to those who proudly mounted scaffold’s stairs — to those whose bones were crushed, whose flesh was scarred and torn — to those by fire consumed — to all the wise, the good, the brave of every land, whose thoughts and deeds have given freedom to the sons of men. And then I vowed to grasp the torch that they had held, and hold it high, that light might conquer darkness still.

Let us be true to ourselves — true to the facts we know, and let us, above all things, preserve the veracity of our souls.

If there be gods we cannot help them, but we can assist our fellow-men. We cannot love the inconceivable, but we can love wife and child and friend.

We can be as honest as we are ignorant. If we are, when asked what is beyond the horizon of the known, we must say that we do not know. We can tell the truth, and we can enjoy the blessed freedom that the brave have won. We can destroy the monsters of superstition, the hissing snakes of ignorance and fear. We can drive from our minds the frightful things that tear and wound with beak and fang. We can civilize our fellow-men. We can fill our lives with generous deeds, with loving words, with art and song, and all the ecstasies of love. We can flood our years with sunshine — with the divine climate of kindness, and we can drain to the last drop the golden cup of joy.

Tags: Atheism, islam, Religion, spirit